On Friendship

I would like to apologize.

Truthfully, I haven't been a very good friend lately.

I am terrible at returning phone calls, emails, letters, text messages.  You could probably send smoke signals and I would not return them.

Life in Evansville is pretty unexciting.  I am slowly making friends at work, but they're pretty much just work friends. Kyle has some friends from high school that we hang out with but that's more for Kyle.  The one who has a girlfriend I really get along with we never see anymore and the other had a girlfriend who I think I would have gotten along with, except they broke up.  Oh well.

Making friends as a grown-up is pretty hard and it is reminding me of trying to make friends at St. Charles in third grade.  Did you know I went to the guidance counselor back then because my mom was concerned about my lack of friends?  Obviously, I found all of you back then and I was so blessed by that. But now I have not done well with keeping in touch with you all. I feel terrible.

My job is awesome. I love it.  I get to make crafts and bulletin boards. I get to read and recommend great children's books.  And I get to talk to awesome kids about books.  It's amazing.

But we just found out (or it was clarified for us or whatever) that if Kyle and I both stay with this library, then we most likely will never be able to move up.  I will never be a Children's Librarian because it would make me an Assistant Branch Manager and he will never be a librarian because he would almost have to be a Branch or Department Manager.  The Anti-Nepotism clause of our employee handbook basically says that anyone who is related or lives together cannot be promoted to a supervisory capacity even if it is not over the other person.  So unless it changes soon, we'll have to pick up and move in order to move up in the world.

We were planning that anyway, but in the back of my mind I was hopeful that if we weren't able to find work outside of Evansville that we'd at least be able to move up here while we were looking.

Overall, life is kind of bittersweet.  There are days when I am as content as I could ever hope to be and there are others where I can barely move for wanting something more.

I miss you all.  So much.

love,

Court

Boring

hey all you lovelies.

I need you all in my life like whoa. I miss you guys. I've been feeling really blue down here in Bloomington lately. I mean, I love it here, the town is fantastic, but, well, remember how awkward and weird I was when you all first met me? Yeah, that's how I'm feeling all over again. I don't really have any friends and I feel like probably the most boring person in the entire world right now. I guess I know I'm not really, but I feel pretty boring. I read, I go to class, I go to work (which is incredibly boring by the way and makes me hate myself), I bake stuff, and I hang out with the boy. And while I love hanging out with Kyle, right now I feel like he is the only person who wants to hang out with me. My two good friends down here have pretty much stopped talking to me and I don't know why and the other friend I have never goes out and does much of anything.

Ugh. I guess this is me just ranting about how I'm boring and there's nothing I can do about it.

I wish you guys were around.