Hi girls,
I know it has been a while since I posted on here and I wanted to update you on everything I've been doing and how I've been doing. I am now on break and it could not have come at a better time. I need a break to relax and not worry about doing things, getting things done, etc. My job with my 3rd grade students has been enjoyable and I am still very glad that I took the job, despite the hesitations I had with accepting the job. (I wasn't sure if I wanted to work with 3rd grade since I had said ok with having an interview for a Kind. assistant job. At the time I wanted to work more with K than 3rd). The 3rd gr. staff is so nice and are fun to be around. The other staff is fun to be around as well and I just feel at home there. It would be a great place to continue working at with a full time teaching job, however having a 45 minute drive there just can't cut it. Being a full time teacher, I would be exhausted. We had a staff talent show on Friday beacause the school reached their goal of collecting 4000 canned goods. 3rd grade did the chicken dance and one of the teachers dressed up in a gorilla costume. The students in the room I work in told me that I did the best out of everyone lol. We had practice for it on Wednesday, as one of the other assistants didn't know the dance, and I pulled both of my upper leg muscles squating down. Really sad and pathetic I must say. You can tell that I haven't exercised in a while!
My tutoring has its ups and downs. I enjoy the students I have in my group (6) but they are definitely a challenge to work with. A lot of them do not want to be there, which I can understand that they are tired, had a long day and want to go home, but its not always fun to hear them say "this is boring or when is it time to go, etc". I am trying to make my lessons be as fun as they can be. I guess I am not used to working with kids who are struggling in the math, reading area and just don't want to be at school. Because of all this, I sometimes just want the tutoring to be over with beacuse to be honest, sometimes I am not having fun. The students are also always picking on each other, tattling and so there is so much I have to manage that its hard to do all that and teach a lesson. I am trying to stay positive and hoping things will get a little better. I needed a break from tutoring and I have one now! I will be done in March.
I have been making it through this last month okay. Some days are horrible and I cry or get upset for no apparent reason or I am with Jordan's family and seeing them all laugh and having a fun time together makes me sad and I sit around like a bump on a log. I survived Thanksgiving day, barely though as it felt. The only time of the day that I was actually feeling a little happy was when I went over to my aunt and uncle's house, who live by JP, and spent time with them and my mom for dinner. The rest of the time I stayed home wanting to be by myself and laid on the couch with no energy, forcing myself to get up and do things every once in a while. I have much to be thankful for but that day none of that seemed to matter as the only thing I wanted, I couldn't get. I spent my dad's birthday (Dec. 9) with my mom. We got full body massages done, which felt incredible, spent only a few minutes at the cemetry, as that was the high winds and rain day and out there it was horribly cold, ate lunch at Panera and talked and then did some christmas shopping. We felt we should make dad's birthday a tradition of getting together and doing things that make us happy and simply being together. I am glad I was able to be with my mom as I could not see spending the day any other way. I would have liked to spend more time at the cemetry, though. Next time I'm in town I will be doing that. I am hoping that I will be able to enjoy Christmas as much as I usually do. Honestly though I do not know how I will be until the day of, or somewhere around there. Everything with grief is so unpredictable and uncontrollable in a way. You don't know why you are acting such a way or feeling such a way. You just have to hope that loved ones are understandable and go along with you on the "roller coaster ride". I have relatives coming from Illinois that will be here before Christmas and on Christmas night.
Other news to share with you- my dad's mom has breast cancer. We've known for about a month now. They were hoping she could have the shorter amount radiation but she doesn't qualify for it. So beginning in January she will be going for radiation everyday for 6-8 weeks. I'm worried about my grandma. She is around 75 and is still working. Yes, my grandma will not stop working and is always pushing herself to do things. She even works 3rd shift, which I think is crazy. I think it will be hard for her to slow down and even take some time off of work when she has been used to doing it for some time now. So I have lots that I'm praying for and I just hope that the radiation will do its work and rid her of the cancer and that she can still be as healthy as she is right now. This side of the family has been through a lot but I know with lots of prayer, good things can happen. As far as I know, I haven't gotten all the details from my aunt, she doesn't have to go through chemo...which I know is a lot worse than radiation.
I know that I promised pictures of our new house to put up and I haven't done it yet. I'm planning on doing this week since I will have more time. It isn't as decorated as much as I wanted it to be. With it being our first house I suppose we have to gradually figure out where we want to put things. The person who built our house was not smart and didn't put eletrical outlets outside and so we don't have lights up outside. Its saddens me :(. I'm always used to having lights outside and it feels like our home isn't Christmasy enough without them.
Well I think that is everything for now. I am not sure of all the christmas plans yet but I am planning on seeing you guys whenever possible. I need to have some friend time. It will be good for me. I love you all very much and wish for you all a happy Christmas. Enjoy the time with your family. I'm daily praying for you all.
God bless and love always