Major Lows

So far, 2012 has not been very good to us.

I found out I was pregnant again around the beginning of November. Paul and I were super excited about the baby and announced the pregnancy to my family over Thanksgiving. Since we were visiting Paul's family shortly after Christmas, we decided not to tell very many people in order to keep the baby a secret so we could tell the Nistler side of our family in person. I was having some pretty severe morning sickness and felt like crap for most of December, but was pretty confident that everything was great with the baby. I had two ultrasounds that showed the baby was developing wonderfully and had a strong heartbeat.

We headed out to Montana at the beginning of January. We announced the pregnancy and everyone was pretty excited. I then developed a wheeze in my chest and went to get some medicine at the local Urgent Care clinic in Helena. The doctor there had an ultrasound machine and he heard that I was 13 weeks pregnant and asked if I wanted to see the baby again for the heck of it. I agreed and he turned the monitor on, revealing our little one with fully developed little fingers and toes moving around.

Two days later (when I should have been hitting the 14 week mark), I started bleeding pretty heavily (sorry for the gross factor).

I called my doctor who told me to get to the hospital immediately. Once we were there, we discovered that the baby had died from a blood clot in my uterus. Since I was starting to hemmorhage, I went into surgery to remove the baby and stop my bleeding. Since then, I've been in a lot of pain and am being monitored to be sure that more clots are not appearing in my uterus. So far, I am not doing all that great and might have to go in for surgery again next week if things do not improve.

I did not really know how to tell you girls this. I'm trying not to think about it as much as possible because when I do, I begin crying uncontrollably. At least I have my little Matthew. I've been trying to hug him as often as I can (or as often as he'll let me!). Please keep Paul and I in your prayers. This has been really, really rough on both of us.

I don't know why things like this happen, but I have to trust that God has a reason for everything.

I love you all!